Everything you need to know about sleep problems in toddlers and children

About 15 to 30% of all children between 4 and 10 years old suffer from sleep problems. This includes difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping in. Sleep problems are hard on your child and on you as a parent. Night rest is very important and less night rest has many consequences.

For example, a child with sleep problems has poorer concentration and is more easily irritable. This affects your child's own well-being and yours. In addition, a good night's rest is very important for your child's health and development.

There are various factors that influence the sleep quality of your little one. Also, some toddlers and children are more sensitive to poor sleep than others.

Physical causes of sleep problems in children

Physical complaints can be the cause of poor night rest in children. For example, allergies, bowel problems, congenital defects, or a chronic middle ear infection can cause poor sleep. Breathing difficulties can also play a role in poor sleep in children. If your child snores, it may be due to a narrowing of the throat and windpipe. This often occurs with enlarged tonsils or overweight. You can always visit the doctor for this.

Fears as a cause of sleep problems in children

It may also be that your child has fears and therefore does not sleep well. This can arise, for example, when your child experiences a lot of stress, has gone through something unpleasant, or worries about something.

First of all, it is important that your child falls asleep well. Provide a comfortable sleeping place, a calm bedtime routine, and a good daily schedule.

If your child has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, it is also important to look at how the day and evening go. Does your child spend enough time outside, does he or she get plenty of exercise? And how much time does your child spend looking at a screen?

In addition, you can help your child relax before going to sleep. Let your child express his or her emotions. Also provide a comfortable place to unwind. A weighted blanket for children can help toddlers and children relax. The weighted blankets provide a gentle pressure on your child's body. Children experience this pressure as a tender hug, which has a calming effect. Because of the pressure from the blanket, children fall asleep faster. Their brains receive the signal that they are lying comfortably and the nervous system relaxes. This way your child will fall asleep more quickly.

For toddlers, the goal should be that they learn to sleep well on their own, without being dependent on you as a parent. These three tips can help you with that:

When you follow a step-by-step plan, you gradually help your toddler get used to falling asleep alone. You start with step 1, where you sit next to your child's bed without responding. You do not make eye contact or talk to your toddler. You are present in the room. Each day you can sit a little further away from your child until you are at the door. Then you can sit outside the room on the stairs until you are no longer nearby.

This method is often used for toddlers who suffer from separation anxiety. Your toddler learns to fall asleep independently, with your presence.

If the above technique is too time-consuming, you can also make a return step-by-step plan. Here you briefly check on your toddler according to a fixed schedule.

You can tell your child that when he or she goes to sleep, you will come back to check in five minutes. If your toddler calls or shouts, wait the full 5 minutes before returning. When you enter the bedroom and your toddler is not asleep yet, it is important not to make eye contact or start conversations. Give your toddler a stroke and a kiss and say “go to sleep now”.

Each night you can extend the time between your visits.

If your toddler is not sick, scared, or in pain, you can also choose to be strict. Being strict is the method by which your child learns fastest to fall asleep independently, but it is not often the most pleasant. If you choose this method, it is good to prepare your child. Tell your child that you will not come when he or she calls because you want to teach your child to fall asleep on their own.

You put your toddler to bed and give no further attention. Even if your child cries and/or shouts, you do not give attention. Consider beforehand whether you can maintain this, as it can be very tough.

Is your child between 7 and 10 years old and still has sleep problems? Then it is wise to involve your child in making a plan. The tips below can help you with this.

Children of this age are smart enough to tell you why they cannot sleep. Ask your child questions and listen carefully, without giving tips or advice. Ask your child if something is bothering them and why they cannot sleep well. It may be that your child lies awake worrying, feeling anxious, or uncomfortable. You can also ask your child if he or she knows a solution that might help sleep better. Then you can try it together.

Children between 7 and 10 years old do a lot for a reward. Therefore, reward every good night in the morning with a big hug, positive reaction, and/or an extra nice moment together. Try to respond as positively as possible to your child. This makes it easier to develop good sleep habits.

Does your child often get out of bed? Then you can work with a ‘bedtime pass’. This is a rule that your child may use once per evening. Your child may call out or get out of bed once. After that, he or she hands in the pass and you ignore the calling.

It may also help to change your child's bedtime. After all, he or she is getting older. Provide a nice evening with calm moments and lots of positive attention. When your child is calm and tired because it is later, he or she will fall asleep faster.

Where adults use apps like Headspace and Calm to become calm before bedtime, it can also help to meditate with your child before going to sleep. The focus is on paying attention to the here and now, which helps your child stop worrying. The internet is full of fun mindfulness exercises for children.

Besides toddlers and children sleeping poorly, sleeplessness is a common problem in other life stages. Therefore, also read our other blog articles:

• Sleeplessness in toddlers
• Sleeplessness in teenagers
• Sleeplessness in adults